Repeat after me: I am a goddess. My spirit is towering, my soul is mighty, my breasts are magnificent and my shoes are super fucking cute.
our friend noah
almost got mugged today
they were like “give us your money”
and he literally was like “no thanks?” and WALKED AWAY
and it worked
WHAT THE FUCK????
me and my friend were walking down the street and she had her phone in her back pocket and she felt someone take it and she immediately turned around, grabbed his arm, and said “phone.” and he just gave it back
WEAK-ASS MUGGERS GOD PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER
i dont trust people who can look good with messy hair
my first thought this morning was “count olaf should have been more thoroughly checked by social services”
how many followers do you need before someone orders you a pizza for free